1. caracutro

    I just want to say that I agree with the doctor completely. I have been opiate addicted on and off for the past 12 years. IV Heroin user among other things. I have also been in a methadone program. In 2005, after the birth of my son, I got addicted to pain meds. I had a clean pregnancy, by the grace of god. I had never been to meetings, rehab or used 12 step methods to stay sober up until this point. All my periods of “sobriety” were spurred by geographicals or cold turkey kicking nightmares. With a new born baby, desperation was at the forefront of my experience. I wound up in AA when he was 9 months old. I clung to AA like it was a life preserver, I ate, drank and slept AA. I loved it. I still do love it. I stayed sober for almost 3 years. I relapsed about a year and a half ago and within 2 months I was at a doctor’s office getting on Suboxone. I am a full time student and working mother. I cannot afford to have my life stop the way I know it will if I kick the old fashioned way. At least not right now. I am fully aware of the reality of my situation and of what most people, especially righteous AA/NA types, think I should or need to do. I still take things one day at a time and I am grateful as HELL for Suboxone. It has allowed me not to lose everything I worked so hard for when I got sober the first time. It allows me the opportunity to stabilize and plan out the next phase of my life in recovery without the horrible suffering that can accompany opiate addiction. I realize that this can be viewed as a double edged sword. The intense suffering opiate withdrawal afforded me, gave me the amazing desperation and then gratitude essential for a spiritual experience like the one described in the Big Book. I believe that I am right where I am supposed to be and that whatever intelligence there is out there in the universe, that it has a plan for me. Part of this plan involves a relapse after 3 years of sobriety and the experience of Suboxone under my belt, for whatever reason, to help other’s who suffer. To help others. Thanks Doc for all your insight about recovery AND Suboxone. I used to be a little arrogant with my sobriety, I was so afraid to lose it, and wanted to believe that I was different. Now I know different. I see how I rode around on an AA high horse a little and it’s easy to do. Hind sight is 20/20. Keep up the good work.

  2. Thank you for sharing. I was there too– I imagine most addicts pass through that stage eventually. Thank you for reading my post– I just looked it over and it is a bit hard to follow, as I was falling asleep as I typed it!
    I’ll add for everyone that if you are on Suboxone, the main issue I see as important to think about is the ‘shame’ issue. I encourage all of you to take to heart the fact that you have an illness- and you deserve as much consideration, sympathy, and medical care as anyone with any other illness. You have NO reason to be ashamed. If you are taking steps now to avoid the harm caused by addiction, then you are doing the RIGHT THING. You have been punished enough!

  3. angelo212

    You gave him hell Doc. You are so right word for word.I love to hear his response to what you said. I’ll never get off suboxone. If I do I’m doomed. I know myself and feel I’ll never be ready. I’m week and the dope is plentiful in the New York New Jersey area.

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