1. gabagool

    Excuse me…but…..two things..
    you wrote:
    “I’m cured!”
    Did you detox??? You were on outpatient treatment…..HOW did you go to work??
    You never wrote how you met your wife……

    • If I wrote I was cured, it was ‘in jest’ or I was talking about a mistaken assumption earlier in life. I would never consider myself ‘cured’ from opioid dependence. I consider the condition to be a long-term illness that we learn to MANAGE– not to DEFEAT. I detoxed inpatient for about 2 weeks, then ‘residential’ for over 3 months. I did not work as an anesthesiologist during, or since, that time. People sometimes ask– if regular treatment doesn’t work, how did it work for YOU? My answer- I was in a facility for a total of 4 months, where I had no access, and I lived and breathed the steps for weeks and weeks– at a time when I was very sick and desperate. I then lived, essentially, in a cage, for 6 years. I was urine tested twice per week for most of 6 years– less frequent near the end. I attended group, individual, and step meetings at LEAST 4-5 times per week, for 6 years. ANY lapse meant the loss of my ability to support my family. After that 6 years, I have struggled to stay clean just like the rest of us– one day at a time.
      My using days lasted about 3 months– i.e. relatively short. That occurred in my 40’s, when much of my personality was formed. In my eyes, residential treatment RARELY offers anything beyond a few weeks of sobriety. But if a person was using for a very short time, and the person was already ‘grown up’ with a somewhat positive self-image, and the treatment lasted for years and years (in my case the treatment lasted ten times longer than my period of use), AND if the person has a great deal to lose, and is monitored constantly…. it might work. But it is hard to treat everyone ‘in a box’.
      My wife? We knew each other since we both were about 14 or 15 years old, and started dating when we were about 21 or so. How did we meet? I think I told her that I thought she was cute,and it was all downhill from there!

    • I’m not sure, but I think the ‘I cured’ you are referring to was ‘tongue in cheek.’ My first time around, my use was relatively mild– as was the withdrawal. Detox at that time consisted of a few days of misery. I returned to work fairly quickly– within a couple weeks, anyway. That experience was a testament to the immediate effects of ‘powerlessness’, at least in my case, as my urge to use opioids went away completely(!)
      I met my wife back in High School, in Beloit– although we didn’t date until several years later. I try to leave her with a little privacy… but I don’t think she would mind me saying that much!

  2. gabagool

    but I’ve got another question.
    Either you were happy and needed to be taken down a notch….or you weren’t as happy as you thought you were……its gotta be one of the two??
    How about this…..The simple fact that opiate intoxication is a WONDERFUL feeling to some people….like me. With so many drugs to abuse, why opiates??

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