1. angelo212

    Well I hope you changed your mind Miss and read these comments from other addicts. This Dr. just tried to save your life and did a great job of it. I wish you would re-read what he wrote after you calm dow or rather on another day. I did not see one attack or insult directed toward you at all. Such a high dose it just so not necessary. IThat craving shit getting down to 12mg is all in your head. Stay on this forum and others and keep asking for suggestions BUT YOU MUST BE OPEN TO THE SUGGESTIONS. I hope you decide to listen.
    In your defense there may have been a time that I read an exchange with the Dr. and someone and seemed as though he personalized and was angry at THAT PARTICULAR TIME AND PERSON but who doesn’t at one time or another. Please re-read what he said and I hope your still around.

  2. I’ll never claim to be perfect– that would just be silly! I am usually rushed, and most days I am dealing with frustrations– today I had a guy who I thought was doing great relapse, and that is a real bummer for him– but me too. And heck, I realize that THESE days, everyone is on edge– my job is no tougher than anyone else’s. But understand that I am an ADDICT– I have the same sensitivities as everyone else. So I WILL occasionally go ape on someone. But I don’t think I did on this particular person– at least I didn’t mean to. I spend about an hour reading her note and writing back, so I found her reply to be a bit… annoying.

  3. I know (we all know at some level) exactly the place this person is at…and although I deeply empathize with how she’s feeling, I also know that telling her what she wants to hear will not help her.
    She wants to hear that it’s not her fault…she’s an addict and she’s sick and the medicine isn’t working the way it should. She wants to hear that there is another way to get what she wants and it is THIS. What she really wants, is what we all really wanted in the beginning! We want to wake up one morning and have our life be exactly the way it was before addiction dug in it’s heels. We want to believe there is a way,a special rehab, a pill, a prayer or a exercise that will do this FOR us. We believe addiction was just a bad CHOICE we made that we need to “undo” and if we can just get over the hump everything will go back to the way it was…..and we want someone to reassure us that this will happen and tell us HOW to make it happen. When someone tells us that isn’t how it works–we get upset and angry and defensive. We try to make them feel bad too. These actions prove how very NOT ready we are for our own recovery, because someone that is truly ready LISTENS to bad news (sprinkled with good advice) with an eager (but sad) ear and instead of getting angry, tries to figure out if it makes sense
    On one of the message boards I post on a lady wrote in and said she was going to jump off her medication immediately and to hell with the consequences. She was tired of having to take it every day, and she still wanted to use all the time and she still hadn’t been able to convince her family that it was a good idea–so she was going to get off the medication NOW and get ON WITH HER LIFE…????
    I wrote back that what she wrote showed how much she needed to stay on the medication for a little longer. Mostly because it showed how quickly she was going to relapse if she did go off the medication, but also because it showed how little she had learned from her addiction experience and how much more damage she was going to do to herself when she did relapse.
    IF she truly believed that she should (and could) have EVERYTHING she wants, exactly when she wants it and that addiction was as easy to “get rid of” as a case of the clap–then she had no true understanding or RESPECT for the damage and scars it brought with it.
    The people that come to the message boards and post that that they are doing a slow taper and need a little encouragement because they recently had to up their dosage a little to re-stabilize OR the people that say they are trying a taper, but understand it might not work out as they planned…..THOSE are the people I feel are finding what they need in recovery.It shows that they’ve realized that things don’t always go the way they planned or the way they wanted–but that they make the best of it and move on…..and to me that is what recovery is all about: making the most out of your life despite being an addict.
    The person that wrote this letter to Dr. J just isn’t in this spot yet. I can only hope that it wont take getting off Suboxone, relapsing and damaging herself further, to figure out what she needs to do.

  4. Stace

    AMEN – I’m literally speechless by what I just read – and she told you PEACE like you’re some 14 year old out on the streets ACK!
    Well I think you’re great and don’t matter if you respond to my lil nothings 😉 as long as you know I’m still reading your blog and supporting you that’s what counts in my book!
    Oh btw I don’t think you were rude at all – you told the truth and I think ALL ADDICTS go thru periods in there life when they wanna quit so badly but then can’t and the cycle just keeps continuing until one day you really really really MEAN IT and that’s when YOU WILL BE GRATEFUL for a drug like suboxone not hate it daily – I hear so many ppl say that first few months are honky dorey then it’s hell they dying to get off this shit… and can’t believe what happens when they do get off it…
    well DUH!!
    I’m still in awe how great i’m doing on this drug – and I’m not stupid about it I know the consquences to my actions but I’m living life now to the fullest and man this sure beats chasing pills etc.. and being dopesick
    SIGH – Doc, sometimes you’re gonna have to brush ya shoulders off and just delete these comments/emails you get!!!
    anyway, I’mma keep on reading I’ve missed a few posts from you – busy down here in N’awlins 🙂

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