The Buprenorphine Ceiling Effect

Livin · April 29, 2010 at 8:42 am

Here is my story, to all that have lost hope this is meant to get you through the dark times.
I started taking vicodin after couple surgeries, then I started taking more and more and more and more til I was taking 8 at one time to feel something yet felt nothing. I then moved on to OC, percs or anything else that would give me a good high, meanwhile Im buying cocain 3 times a week and when you cant fall asleep I would snort a OC to mellow me out, I continued this for at least 2 depressing years of wasted life. Not too long after I had gone on a white binge for 3 days and I needed something to nuetralize the high and bring me down, that was the first time that I ever tried heroin and man did I love it!!! I only had to buy a 20 that lasted a full day but little did I know I would be up to about $300 a day 6 or 7 months later, I never spiked just snorted. I was on the Ron for about a year and a half when I finally took a look at my life and was fed up with the life style of stealing, lying, destroying my body and the horrible withdrawels from not being able to hook up. So, to sum up I was on any/all opiats for about 4 to 5 years and about 2 years ago I started on suboxen. The drug has its good and its bad but I have been clean from those drugs ever since I started suboxen and have been able to get a great job and save my family from eventually being torn apart.
About 2 months ago I decided I wanted off of suboxen after being dependent for over 2 years. I was taking about 3 or 4 a day depending and since that 2 month period I have decreased to a half of an 8 every day (4mg). Last Friday was the last pill I took. I started to feel the knee/back pains, the diarhea, the wrestless legs, not wanting to eat and the worst of all that unexplainable feeling of wanting to explode out of your skin/body if you sit in one position too long or any time!!!! This decision of mine was a mind set and a life style change, I knew that it was going to be bad but I didnt care, I was going to get through this if I had to lock myself in my apt. for a week or however long it will take!! I am now on Day 6 of detox and I can see the light and it is glorious, the whole time I suffered I just thought how nice it will be to be free and how proud I will be of myself for doing this and how proud my family will be. I have not slept in 4 out of the 6 but each day is a new day and a new challenge. When I first started this less than pleasant journey I spent the whole time by myself praying, crying, screaming out to God for him to give me strength and increase my power. I have changed my game plan a little with a huge result, instead of sitting home and sitting in my suffering I decided to go to Brewers games and Bucks games (GO BUCKS), bike rides and anything else to get me through and now when I get home at 11 it is a lot less time you spend in pain, maybe 4 to 6 hours of no sleep and pacing the house. I do have one thing that had definitely helped me through and that is my mother, I can call her anytime no matter what time, and she helps give me the strength, I called her every night telling her I cant do this and I feel like I want to die but she would talk me through it and it has made a world of a difference.
You will go through a tough time with this detox but just know that this is only 7 to 10 days out of the rest of your life!!!!! How awesome it will be to break the chains of addiction and making sure you have enough pills to go on vacation and yada yada yada. Take it 1 day at a time, see the light at the end of the tunnel and just think of how proud you will be of yourself after doing this!!! I plan on quiting smoking when this is done and I am pretty sure it will be a walk in the park compared to my last journey!! Also, I would not be making it through if it wasnt for the strength of God and family, I still have a couple more days to go but it looks a lot brighter in the road to come.
God bless,
Livin